10 Dirty Secrets of Personal Development


here’s the stuff THEY don’t want you to know …


1. personal power is YOURS.


long and the short of it, this is all you really need to know. YOU HAVE THE POWER. End of story. You don’t need to buy some book, sign up for some expensive 3 month program, or purchase a bunch of audio books. The Power is Within You. That cannot be stressed enough.


2. personal development is a lifelong commitment


how often have you been sold the ‘9 day program’ or ’30 days to change’ line? they make it sound easy, right? follow this simple recipe, and you’ll be thin, smart, rich, and young. Wow! who wouldn’t sign up for that! but the true story is that these short-term commitments never pay off. Old habits drift back, and any temporary gains fade like the morning mist. If you want to change, it’s a lifelong path.


3. deep satisfaction

these programs all sell you on the end result. They flash it on the infomercials, they talk it up in the blurb. The big promise. But what is missed is the personal journey you go on. So much emphasis is placed on following a program, hitting all the deadlines, that the actual EXPERIENCE is totally missed. True Personal Development is felt deep inside; as a stirring of the inner self. Don’t mistake the end for the path.


4. total change

all these guru’s have some specialty; this guy tells you how to make money while you’re sleeping, this person learns you on how to shed those pounds like melting butter, this guy reprograms your mind so that depression and sadness will disappear like an overnight dream. What is entirely missed is that Personal Development is a total change of who you are. Its a deep examination of your personal philosophy; some of your deepest assumptions about the way life works. This is not easy, or trivial. But its the only way to real, lasting, powerful, and rewarding change.


5. the plateau effect

what is never talked about in the books is the ‘plateau effect’. This is where you will make some initial gains or improvements, and then you will level off for some time. It could be days or weeks, but it will seem like you are making NO PROGRESS. This is ok. Is is part of the experience. Just keep sticking with it. What happens is that a lot of the internal pieces are being juggled and shuffled. It might look like you’re not getting anywhere, but persist. When the pieces are all ready, they will fall into place. Then you’ll take the next leap up … overnight.


6. you are your best teacher

forget gurus or tailored programs. You yourself know the way. You just need to study the best examples possible, and determine your own way, in your own time. No pressure.


7. there are no shortcuts

Honest. Just accept this simple fact, and all those offers and programmes will start to lose their appeal. THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS. Every child stumbles their way through their first language, everyone falls off their bike at least once. No Shortcuts. Learn by making mistakes, learn by trying, and trying again. You might need a few guides, but you have to experience everything yourself. That’s the only way you’ll ever internalise the deep lessons of Personal Development and Change. You can’t ‘download’ the knowledge you need to know, as appealing as that might be 🙂


8. passion is the key


things won’t change, unless you are genuinely excited and eager to change them. No one can give you this passion. You have to have it yourself.


9. love is the answer


hey, no bullshit! you will only progress when you accept this simple fact: love is the answer. When you learn to love and accept yourself, love and accept others, your personal development will accelerate to mind-boggling speeds. Once you become Internally Healed and Whole (by accepting and loving all that is), change has a conduit through which to flow. Personal Development will be yours.


10. personal development is a lucrative industry

the players in the game will actually cite this, and use it as part of their spin. Become as rich as I am – they shout. But honestly, where is the money really coming from? Sounds like your wallet. Any time you hand over money for a promise, you are trading away your personal power. Bad news. Stop the industry in its tracks by developing yourself, in your own way. No Holosync cd’s, no Anthony Robbins. what do the drug ads say? Just say no? Dead right!

once you reclaim your own internal sovereignty and look to yourself for the answers, true Personal Development will unfold like a natural blooming rose. As Krishnamurti became famous in his lifetime for being the ‘anti-guru guru’, you too can tread the same road –

be the anti-guru guru!!

blessings and peace



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16 Responses to “10 Dirty Secrets of Personal Development”

  1. Qbarrie Says:

    The personal development industry is like any other…there’s rip-off artists, con men, scammers, people offering crap product, and even egregiously harmful programs and schools of thought.
    But, there are also sources of genuine ispiration, wisdom and learning.
    As much as it is necessary to embrace one’s resopnsibility for one’s life, it is also important to recognize that part of that power lies in finding and choosing those who would propel you onward and upward. We all need guides and teachers at various points on our path…nobody can do the journey alone.

  2. StuartDMT Says:

    Pretty much hits the nail on the head. If all of the external media is worth anything, it would be its ability to point to the “answers” with different words, from different points of view. But, as you say, no need to pay gurus or multi-installment programs. It’s all there, it’s always been there.

  3. Al Says:

    Nice post, I agree Passion is the Key. If you do not have passion everything else seems to fall apart.

  4. annakeiller Says:

    I love this post, and thank you for writing it! It is really nice to know that you’re out there, ggw! MWAH!! However – I think that some times we need pointers, don’t we. Also, we need to check out our experiences with people who’ve been there before us and know the score. Sometimes stuff we see in meditations or dreams are so intense, so weird, that if we need re assurance. Well, I do.
    Much love

  5. Miruh Says:

    Great post! There is really nothing new out there, the same old truths of the ancients are repackaged, made to look glossy. Nevertheless, they do serve a purpose for those who have no clue where to begin. Different colors and styles appeal to different folks. Perhaps someone who would be turned off by Buddhist wisdom teachings on dealing with the mind, would hear it from someone like Anthony Robbins.

  6. mommymystic Says:

    So true, and thanks for saying so…although as someone else above said, there are of course con-artists and true teachers in every field…I realized while reading this that I have kind of separated ‘personal development’ from ‘spirituality’, and some of your items I put under the latter…I tend to think of anything that is supposed to improve our lives – finances, health, relationships, etc. – as personal development, and things related to our overall growth as a human being, our self-awareness, our deeper happiness (that is not dependent on getting what we want) as spirituality….but of course, many people don’t draw this distinction, which I think is a problem, and some personal development just ends up feeding our desires, and getting us more trapped in the idea that getting what we want is the key to happiness…don’t get me wrong, I am all for improving our lives, just don’t think it has anything to do with spiritual wisdom…
    P.S. I agree with you on Facebook, I am not on it yet either

  7. JoyFrequencies Says:

    Another good post 😉

  8. betrueblog Says:

    I agree with just about everything you wrote re: personal development; I just wouldn’t categorize those truths as dirty little secrets. As a life coach, I emphasize most of the same points you made. Anyone looking for a quick fix or someone to do the hard work for them and just give them the answers is missing the whole point.

    Absolutely we each have the power and are our own best teachers, but that doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from consulting others. Sometimes we need honest, objective feedback that friends and family may not be able to provide, along with support and encouragement as we discover who we really are and make the changes necessary to become all that we were created to be.

    Certainly there are people writing books, giving seminars, coaching, etc who are doing it just to make a buck but there are also a lot of us who are truly committed to making the world a better place and hoping to make an honest living while helping others.

  9. Krag Says:

    Books, films, music, like a city map, for directions, the map is not the territory. The (Chinese finger trap) mind is nothing but thought, a by-product of karma appearing in the Self. bardoworld.com

    Self delusion is the greatest enemy. Without objective honest feedback we cannot discern the useful from harmful “I’s.” We have almost no real will and no permanent “I”… I say “I’m going to do this” – then don’t do it. The “I” that decided to do it is not the “I” facing the task of doing it.

    One thing I know that is true and that is when I am with someone with more clarity than I have I cannot hide or pretend or lie, and I am grateful for their truth.

  10. thezeninyou Says:

    Literally “stumbledupon” this. Gave you a BIG thumbs up. Personal development is a lifelong process…I mean how boring would it be if we became who we wanted to be? Then what? I love the process of my self discovery. So many roads and choices. I will make wrong turns here and there…but that’s all part of the process. That’s how we learn.

    Thank you for this today…hope many read this…it’s a good reality check!

  11. Jim Says:

    This is a lot better than what I’ve been seeing elsewhere lately. If we had more like it around, I think we’d be better off.

  12. Arun Ray Says:

    Great insight, couldn’t agree more.

  13. Happy Medium Says:

    I was about to plunk down a sizable small fortune for 7 days at a retreat for a good cleanse. The only thing good about it for me is the wheatgrass and raw foods. There is nothing I can learn from the place, and the grounds are not pretty. There’s not even a nice wood floor or platform, or room with a decent rug for yoga.
    You never leave the compound. I thought, “Where is a nice retreat? Something simple without a lot of trips?” I decided that my house is the best place. I will just commit to organizing my cleanse with the same foods “They” do… and not do ONE THING except have fun in the gorgeous area I already live. THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER!!! WE HAVE THE POWER! Might still go to Hawaii after, just for the sun, sea, sand and foliage! MMMMmmmmm. OM OM OM That’s how the money is better spent!

  14. marta Says:

    gostaria que estivesse os vidios em portugues p/ entender sou apaixonada em seus livros que mudaram minha vida desde ja agradeço marta sua fâ

  15. Christian Says:

    I don`t know how it is to grow up in the States, but I mean that, the school system in the US, is quite another here in Norway, where I come from.
    I think that when you are going to school in US, they also learn the children personal scills, how to behave, and to be polite ect.
    I`think that doing so, in the schools, teaching the children to “be nice” also is incorrect. Ok. When you “learn” this, this isn`t who you are, infactk, I think it could be realy harmfull to “Learn how to be polite”.
    So I think, if you truely know what the life for you is all about, you should not need, to also have the teachers to says what good manners, og good behavior is all about.
    The other thing is, when all civilasations all around the world in fact is posttramatic-stressed about doing well an school, this is also this systems fault.
    But when you are a child and you are starten much of youre life, going to school, and learning how things are. This is the first problem, to mess up with this pure harted child in the first place.
    So I think it would be a better world without the pressure from the schoolsystem, more alternative art-ish schools with in mind that, it is the child we are here for, not the other way around. It would be more balanced minds out there, more beautifull people you had ever seen… Im hoping for that…

  16. Henry Beyer Says:

    I agree with with you that personal development takes time and that there are not short-cuts and that all the information that is available through self-improvement and self-development books has been said, but so has every story that has ever been written. Would you say that fiction then is a shame? I suspect not. I can personally attest that Awaken the Giant Within and Personal Power and Get the Edge changed my life. As did the the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, The Sacred Path of the Warrior,Vicotr Frankl, Deepak Chopra, Homer, Faulkner, Osho and dozens and dozens more. I was in bad place and being exposed to different ideas through different avenues helped me get myself on track and to regain my personal power. It didn’t take me thirty days to get myself to where I wanted to be, but I can tell you in those thirty days the seed was planted and I made the first steps in the right direction. I respect your point of view, but I believe there is value in the personal development field, and I suggest there must be something to it, a need for it or else it wouldn’t be such a profitable industry, much like religion, and spirituality for that matter. There are lessons to be learned everywhere, to close your mind to one, closes your mind to all. “In this world Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only Love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible.” THe DHammapada of Gautama The Buddha. CA 500 BC

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