Posts Tagged ‘music’

Step 31 – from the Creative Chaos

March 23, 2009


let me tell you a story:

back in my college days (which we call university here in Australia) I was a real book fiend. Would spend hours each day in the campus library, perusing different sections, different shelves. A real eclectic reader – history, science, psychology, philosophy, literature – basically everything. And where did this intense curiosity spring from? one work I encountered in my post high school days: JM Robert’s magnificent ‘Penguin History of the World’. (the Penguin here being the publisher, not the animal :-))

this one book triggered an intellectual landslide. All those subjects not treated in my formal schooling days; here they were brought up in a beautiful narrative history; one that excited the mind, elucidated the field, and sparked a thousand other avenues of thought. Reading and re-reading this blockbuster tome (coming in at 1000+ closely printed pages) blew me away. This is an Awakening, in every sense. We’re talking about the History of the World here folks! that means everything comes under its purview; dictators, kings, and empires may form the broad brushstrokes of history, but inside of that the rich endeavorings of humanity are taking place: philosophical enquiry, inventive science, art and dance, the struggles of the family within the societal structures. History may be the canvas here, but it is by painting the little details that the true image is formed.

This book I read and re-read two or three times over when was 19. It fairly well set my course for the next 10 years. Intellectual pursuit of answers, book knowledge in every form. I read and read and read. I lived the life of an omnivorous gorging bibliophile. That was my life.

and against this backdrop the rest of my life was spinning away. I studied, I worked, I studied some more, and I worked some more. The sustenance of my life had to be maintained, but every spare minute I had was ploughed into those never-ending pages of knowledge and insight. Biographies gave me a glimpse into the manifest lives of great men; popular science informed me of the latest findings in genetics, evolutionary psychology, particle physics, and cosmology. Spiritual works informed the meaning and purpose of all things. Literature fired the imagination full of possibilities, poetry set the heart alight. It was a glorious Mental Awakening.

I left those years behind me a little way back. Fully sated, I needed time now to digest. Put all the pieces together.

but that story, my friends, is for another day.



blessings and peace

String Trio #1 :: scored for violin, viola, and cello


Step 29 – Snapping Old Habits

March 11, 2009


I think I was borderline OCD when I was a kid. Always making lists, scheduling my time, organising my books and comic books. It was all about putting things in order; all the time 🙂

it lasted well into my high school years. Sometime when I started working at McDonalds (ah, those were the days) those old habits dropped away. Maybe I felt I was becoming more of an adult (having my own money to spend, being more in control) that I didn’t need to obsess as much. So glad!

these days, my music demands a certain attention to detail. Everything has to ‘slot’ in correctly, work for a greater purpose. The parts inform the whole. It takes effort to ensure that everything is synced, harmonised, and balanced. Care is certainly a factor. But it isn’t obsessing! its about making sure its right, then moving on, not coming back and endlessly re-arranging. Once its done (and done well!) it looks after itself. OCD doesn’t recognise this. It constantly worries, and rechecks things over and over again. Looking for those horrid germs, or that unlocked door, or left on stove. OCD _can’t_ move on.

I’m in control these days, but not anal about it.

OCD is the washing machine of the mind. Going round, and round, and …

take care friends, and enjoy the music!!

scored for piano solo


Step 28 – White Magic

March 8, 2009


magic has a bad rap these days. after all, one cannot ‘conjure’ things out of thin air, can we?

or perhaps we can?

maybe we should examine what we mean by ‘magic’, and in this case, so-called ‘white magic’.

Magic, at its core, is about getting results. There is no real modern analogue for this term. Some self-improvement circles bandy the notion of being ‘effective’, ‘real’, or ‘getting what you want’. Nice expressions, but what is REALLY happening?

1. an idea, image, or desire flashes in the mind

2. we want to see this happen in ‘reality’.

3. we effect this change (or not, depending on the case :-))

magic is about making this process seamless and efficient. Forget all the past baggage associated with this term, just concentrate on the results and the process.

magic is about consciousness and the transition from the mind into 3-d reality. The more we can make this happen, the more we ‘materialise’ … not out of thin air, but through conforming with real, practical principles.

nothing spooky about it!


scored for two flutes, and one cello


Step 26 – Overcoming Fear and Aversion

February 28, 2009


fear is the mind killer
overcome fear, and you conquer the world

how often have you heard that said?

too many, I bet.

but truly, is there anything to it? if we overcome our internal fears and aversions, what will be the end result? a more satisfied, robust, expressive, creative human being? Really??

let me make the case:


1) in fear, we withdraw and don’t try new things. Hence we stop learning and growing in our mind. Ideas become stagnant, recycled, we become “locked in” to a fear mindset. The world becomes scary!

2) in fear, we stop connecting with others. Other People are best source of joy there is! Getting their input, sharing some of your own story … social cohesion has many benefits.

3) in fear, we lose the connection to Source

4) in fear, we start doubting our own abilities to cope with the world. We reduce our own stature in comparison to others, and in doing so, hand them our power. Bad!!

5) in fear, we doubt the inherent goodness of others. One paints them as this or that, and we stop seeing Reality for what it is. It becomes a clouded vision..

6) in fear, we cannot Love fully.

7) in fear, we live in a little box of a world, not seeing its wonders, joys, explosive beauty. A narrow, constricted, defensive mindset. Fear is a COMPRESSION.

so all up, fear is not a good thing!


scored for organ solo


Step 23 – Self Identity

February 18, 2009


as one moves forward in time, one’s identity is constantly changing.

once a child, now a high school student, then a college graduate, worker, spouse, then parent. Our roles revolve and change over a lifetime. Different skills, different experiences.

but for what end?

we end up with stories to tell; some funny, some wise, a lifetime of different places, different faces.

but somewhere in there, something remains constant. A consciousness, a knowing, a perceiver.


right now, my self-identity is tied up with music, and a spiritual path. It has been a road traveled for 10 years now. Fun, exciting, unexpected, challenging.


but this too is a phase. Our self-identity is who we choose to live our lives as; the various positions we occupy in society. The key, I think, is not to cling to it too tightly.

Michael Jackson is just a memory of who he was, as is Michael Jordan. The roles pass.

in the end, all that is left are the memories.

Memories of a self-identity that once was.


blessings and peace

scored for harpsichord solo