I’ve worked an office job for many years now, and I can honestly say these are my pet 5 peeves about the whole ‘Office Experience’.
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1. restrictive dress codes
this may be less so for office chicks, but for us guys, the dreaded dress code is a bane of our existence. Shoes like this, in this color, shirt like this, in this color or dull pattern, pants like this, in this color, with belt like this, in equally boring color. Arrggh! in those summer days, don’t you dream of rocking up to work in flipflops and a bright Hawaiian t-shirt. A no can do folks. Dress is a big thumbs down in my opinion.
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2. watching you watching me
part of the office life experience is spying on your cubicle neighbours. Hey, what’s he doing watching youtube at 9:15 in the morning? oh shit, hasn’t that effer been working on that email for 45 minutes straight? And know what? the resentment is heartily reciprocated. Get those glares and dis-approving looks occasionally? just what you’re doling out yourself!! we get high and mighty about how others are ‘wasting’ time, yet its a constant indulgence ourselves. Watching you watching me. Big thumbs down!
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3. the three month performance review
isn’t this a kicker? just to keep you in line, and make you fear for your very existence, they hang the Performance Review over you constantly. How are you doing in comparison to your peers? are you meeting certain standardised benchmarks? what skills are you developing, and how do you plan to keep on improving and growing? bullshit questions which deserve bullshit answers. If you pull your weight, that’s good enough for me. 3 month review? thumbs down!
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4. know nothings who get promoted
we all know the type. The ones who can smooze and sweet talk, are real chummy with the key decision makers. These ‘dudes’ do an adequate job but are nothing special. But somehow they wheedle themselves into favor with the right words, the right button pushing, and they move up the chain. The worse thing is, they don’t even perceive what they are doing; they honest to god believe in their ‘superiority’. Its no deception for these blokes; they believe their own pr. And know what? they get rewarded for it. Seems like almost everyone can see through the smokescreen … and yet, up the command chain they go. Greasy pole riders. Thumbs down.
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5. the company ‘treating’ you
around xmas, the company usually makes a big show about how much they love and cherish their workers. Big office party! christmas hampers! all on us! but what about the rest of the year? Nope, you don’t count much then. Oh, there might be the occasional munchies, or the odd special event, but otherwise, its business as usual on the grindstone. But hey, when we pay attention to you, treat you good, you better appreciate it! — is their sentiment. False, and fake. Corporate internal spin. Thumbs down!
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I’m sure you’ve had your own experiences with these Office Turnoffs.
blessings and infinite peace
ggw
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100 Musical Footsteps 
May 2, 2009 at 5:21 am
I have worked in the office and must admit it is not for me…That atmosphere looks exactly how described in your Blog. . .Your observation is brilliant! No office work for me…Thank you…: O)
May 2, 2009 at 5:40 am
The trick is to find the right office. 😉
I work in a pseudo-governmental office that is very laid back. No dress code(per se, you must be presentable obviously). Complete privacy. Lots of free food and benefits. And I’m that guy who became friends with the big wigs whilst volunteering in here last summer, and so they gave me a job. 😛
Not that I at all disagree with or discredit your office experiences, but I do wish to present that ever-present exemption to the rule. lol
Peace.
May 2, 2009 at 6:32 am
In my office, the appreciation is year-round. On each person’s birthday we have breakfast and sing “Happy Birthday.” Although I appreciate the sentiment it *still* feels fake for some reason. Everyone is uncomfortable during the singing and it’s hard to please 15 people with a quick, in-the-office-breakfast.
Maybe it is just the feeling of sort of forced comraderie that seems off somehow. All in all, you are perfectly correct. Office life has some serious drawbacks.
May 2, 2009 at 6:41 am
I laughed so hard at this! Kudos to the obvious! At least for many..lol…
May 2, 2009 at 6:45 am
3 and 4. Add to that 4 then makes you redundant claiming that 3 didn’t mean anything ‘in this scenario’.
May 2, 2009 at 6:45 am
I worked for a manager – he was about 3 levels above me – that gave all of the peons that worked for him a special treat at Christmas. He would walk around the day before the Christmas holiday – followed by at least one of his lackeys – and actually shake our hands and wish us a “Happy Holiday”. Wow, what a treat! In lieu of a Christmas bonus we got a handshake! I wouldn’t be surprised he soaked his hand in bleach after this annual ritual.
May 2, 2009 at 9:03 am
It all depends on the manager on much of this. And, yes, offices can suck.
May 2, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Had to laugh at this one… Too true in most office situations. I have worked in some better and some worst case scenarios.. The nmber 5 of the company treating you brought back some memories…. Many many years ago I worked at a McDonalds in the midwest… The big boss ie owner of that particular franchise – always gave Christmas bonuses in person…. and wanted thank you when he gave it… Well it was a 5.00 bill – really peeved me to the max as I watched all these people many 30 to 50 years old having to thank someone for this – so when it became my turn – I just looked at him and said why thank you kind sir – this ought to just about cover lunch at Burger King.. He never did it in person again…. lol
May 2, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Oh this is FANTASTIC!!!! Thank God I don’t work in the office anymore…. and by the way heals are a PAIN with stockings on a HOT day LOL! While you guys are getting strangled to death with a tie, we ladies are dying too.
May 3, 2009 at 7:23 am
You forgot to mention the eavesdropping on phone calls, and the not so subtle emails about you that get sent to everyone but you.
HATE office job, did one for 12 years…never again.
May 31, 2009 at 9:30 am
some of these things happen even if you dont work in an office – like the Christmas party for example
June 24, 2010 at 12:32 pm
This is a excellent true observation by you.
Thank You.